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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rnny on December 30, 2009, at 13:32:20
Has anyone encountered a T with an attitude problem? Perhaps while shopping around or even maybe you started therapy with one? My old T retired and I did shop around. I settled on this one T and I swear I think she has an attitude problem (that is subjective to everyone so it could mean just about anything). I am trying really hard to figure this out but some things you have to go by your gut. My question is this: Not every T is your ideal of perfection. But have you ever encountered a T with an attitude problem? When I lived out of state I was seeing a nurse practitioner for antidepressants. She would keep me waiting and it bugged me. One time I finally let my anger out about waiting (I didn't threaten her or anything for pete's sake) and she just about went into a rage in her response. "Who do you think you are" and the like. After that I never went back.
Posted by Dinah on December 30, 2009, at 15:42:25
In reply to T with attitude problem?, posted by rnny on December 30, 2009, at 13:32:20
Yep.
I saw biofeedback guy for adjunct therapy. I really wanted biofeedback, but after the first session where he attacked my therapist and my therapy without my having said anything of any substance about it, I didn't want to go back. My therapist convinced me to give it another try, but it never got better. I finally asked him if he thought we could have any meaningful therapy when he obviously did not particularly like me, and he turned the question around. I answered no, I didn't think I could. He concurred. And that was that.
Posted by obsidian on December 30, 2009, at 16:53:23
In reply to Re: T with attitude problem?, posted by Dinah on December 30, 2009, at 15:42:25
wow dinah, that guy sounds like an *ss.
sorry 'bout that
-sid
Posted by obsidian on December 30, 2009, at 16:54:30
In reply to T with attitude problem?, posted by rnny on December 30, 2009, at 13:32:20
I see that crap all the time, though I do not expect anyone to be perfect. I think as a T you have a certain obligation to be less subjective and more objective- though this a tricky thing.
Posted by blahblahblah on December 30, 2009, at 17:05:25
In reply to T with attitude problem?, posted by rnny on December 30, 2009, at 13:32:20
Hey Rnny,
Can't say I have had this problem. But I am very interested to know what kind of things your T is doing. All of us on here need to get together and write a book about our therapy stories. A short story book. I'll do a post suggesting it.
Blah
Posted by Verloren on December 31, 2009, at 1:06:34
In reply to T with attitude problem?, posted by rnny on December 30, 2009, at 13:32:20
The first T I saw during my search was o k. just o k. She didn't seem excessively intelligent or insightful so I only stayed with her for a month. Her attitude came out when we were discussing the bill. She keep saying "most people's copayments are around $10 or $15 dollars or so"
My immediate response was "A. I don't have a copayment (based on my insurance plan) I pay a 10% co-insurance. and B. I need a definite amount of what I'm paying you. Not what you guestimate I should or some made up number."
She said "copayment is the same as co-insurance and what difference does it make?! Most people with plans similar to yours just pay XX amount."
I said, "I like to be a little more organized than that (she knew I had OCD). I need to know exactly how much I owe you."
She said, "It doesn't make a difference. Everyone else just pays XX amount. What's the big deal?! (she started shaking her head incredulously at me and frowned really mean)
I said, "Whatever! but co-insurance is not the same as copay." And I left. I also never paid her, but she never sent me a bill with the right amounts, and that's another story.The next doc I saw was a pdoc and when told about a certain ocd tendency I have he looked up at me, laughed and said "you don't really do that do you?" I was so upset, I couldn't believe how unprofessional he was. Then he argued with me because I didn't want to take Prozac, then he got up mid session, told the nurse to give me a script for Prozac and walked out of the room without even saying goodbye or looking back at me.
Not sure if those stories are the types of "T with attitude" you were looking for but it felt like it to me.
Sometimes I think many therapist feel like they know what's best because of their experience yet they seem to not really be able to see through our eyes and really empathize with how we view them. And I think it's so easy for them to get godlike complexes even despite their training. Imagine being utterly adored and loved by even a dozen of your patients. Over time some arrogance is bound to creep in, no matter how professionally trained they are. They are still human beings. And with arrogance comes attitudes.-Verloren
Posted by Nadezda on December 31, 2009, at 9:38:05
In reply to Re: T with attitude problem? » rnny, posted by Verloren on December 31, 2009, at 1:06:34
I've been really lucky, I think. I don't remember running into a T with too much attitude. I've seen ones for an appointment or two who said things that upset me, but I'm not sure that it was their fault. I can be very sensitive to what seems like criticism, or take things as hurtful that aren't even intended in the way I think.
A few I really didn't like and therefore didn't want to see again. There are Ts who are self-involved, or have an attitude-- Ts run the gamut of human reactions and types-- although one hopes they're more aware of their limitations, and have worked through their issues to the point of handling what gets stirred up professionally and on their own-- unless it's helpful to the P to bring it up.
After all the turmoil with my T in the last few years, I've become more optimistic about accepting that others, including a T, may not be aware of (or thinking of) the resonance for me of what they say. And sometimes things I dwell on may not "mean" that much. Ts may not be trying to be critical or express an attitude, as opposed to trying to give you honest feedback, that may seem critical, but truly is meant as helpful. In the moment--and even afterward, it can be hard to untangle what was their part in the hurtfulness and what was mine (of misinterpreting or being too denfensive about things I need to think about). I've given up on it-- having found a good T, in my mind, I try to accept that growth can require difficult, chaotic moments as well as smoother or more attuned moments.
The way I see it, we can choose a T, who's a good fit, and after that, commit ourselves to learning as much as we can, despite misunderstandings, or genuine insensitivity that they can have to our issues.
Nadezda
This is the end of the thread.
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