Posted by Helana on December 23, 2009, at 12:37:47
In reply to Re: I don't understand (may be triggering) » Helana, posted by Verloren on December 23, 2009, at 12:09:12
> Helana,
>
> I am so sorry you're struggling with this. It seems so frustrating when our Ts have so much power over us and they don't seem to grasp that it can literally destroy us to feel like we're shunned in any way by them.
>
> I wish she didn't make you feel that way. I do wonder if you're mentioning self harm in your messages to her and she still does not respond. I do know that when a person is experiencing a crisis that may involve SI, the T has a legal obligation to respond and get help. So maybe she's not aware of the seriousness because of the previous social-seeming calls. But if you've expressly told her you are in SI crisis situations and she downplays it, you might ask her what does she intend to do to help keep up her end of the contract.
>
> Please keep me updated!
> -VerlorenThank you so much Verloren! I have made it very clear the seriousness. I have said all of this to her. I have texted her and told her I just cut. I have texted and said I am sitting with a razor wanting to end it all. I have imo chronic SI...if that is such a thing. I have struggled since I was four. So I thought that maybe since i'm still alive she doesn't think it's serious and doesn't think I'll ever do it...but that's why I've explained to her that I don't trust myself. That I feel one of these days I might break and be impulsive enough to just do it. That I scare the crap out of myself. I always seem to talk myself out of committing suicide, I must have a strong will to live...but what if one day i'm not...
The fact is that I hardly ever call her. This is the second time in the past year. It's not like I over burden her with phone calls imo...unless dealing with me period is a burden...which is what it feels like. I know it's not true, but it sure feels that way.
poster:Helana
thread:930517
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/930532.html