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Re: flip flopping from aware self to sick self

Posted by emilyp on December 13, 2009, at 22:20:19

In reply to flip flopping from aware self to sick self, posted by deerock on December 13, 2009, at 10:14:58

Nadezda gave a much more complete and probably more empathetic answer. But nonetheless, I thought I would add my two cents.

I was struck by your comment that "i sometimes see i tried to get her to be afraid and to feel i was horrible. i succeeded. and other times, i feel like its not my fault, if she was smart enough, that would have never happened"

I understand the frustrations and issues around therapy and a relationships with therapists. I have had plenty of my own frustrations. And I have not always acted appropriately with my therapist. But trying to make anyone afraid - a therapist or anyone - seems like a rather radical and excessive reaction to her. It is one thing to ask her to be "smart enough" to understand if you were rude or maybe even hurtful. But from my perspective, fear is something at a much different and I guess I can understand her reaction. When faced with fear, people react on their emotions - it is a survival mechanism that is needed for protective purposes. Usually people don't have total control over their reactions to fear (i.e. the flight or fight response).

I think you are doing the right thing by sticking with her. But even more important, you should really discuss why you would want her to be fearful of you? Is this behavior that happens with others - which would obviously affect your ability to maintain decent relationships? I cannot imagine that fear is healthy for any relationship.


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poster:emilyp thread:929077
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/929159.html