Posted by 10derHeart on August 16, 2009, at 2:10:38
In reply to Re: I just wish..., posted by emmanuel98 on August 14, 2009, at 19:07:33
Yeah, I know, you're right, it is mostly about what I can learn about what I need, what I value in an intimate relationship, and the how of negotiating it. Practice, practice, practice. But I do see it as kind of a blend. Mostly, I do want kindness and closeness, understanding and more from someone else - some day. For a bunch of reasons I won't go into here, I don't really have that in my life just now. He is the surrogate, and he seems alright with that. His appropriate, yet flexible enough boundaries make it safe.
But I do think in part, it is him I want. My T. discloses a lot, and that works for us both, so I do know a fair amount about him-him, not only therapist-him. I guess he is just an ordinary guy, but I love ordinary. It's what makes him so real, his ordinariness and humility. We share a lot of stuff in common, too, and I think we could have become friends if we'd met under other circumstances.
poster:10derHeart
thread:912133
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090730/msgs/912382.html