Posted by Dinah on July 18, 2009, at 15:47:56
In reply to Ok more rambling., posted by seldomseen on July 18, 2009, at 15:34:25
What you say makes sense to me on an intellectual basis.
It's probably what my therapist is trying to say, although you say it much better. Once when he was thinking of moving, he was upset at my attitude. He wanted me to remember how good our relationship had been and retain and value all the things he'd taught me. An extraordinary request to my eyes.
I don't really understand how to do that. I mean I do in part. The people who I cared about and who left me, I think of them with affection and are happy to hear from them if I ever do. Yet, the loss and pain overlays those positive things.
In this society it does happen all the time. And it still baffles and upsets me, and makes me wish I never cared all that much. Caring enough to get enjoyment but not enough to cause so much pain seems far preferable.
For whatever reason, I just don't attach deeply all that often. Either I attach in such a way as the loss is no more than a pang, or I attach in such a way that the loss is like ripping out some vital organ. I don't seem to have a middle ground for attachment at all. My therapist would like me to have that, but again, that seems like caring less.
But I do understand what you're saying. It just seems like a dream to me. I'll keep your replies bookmarked though, and read over them, and maybe one day they'll filter through to me.
poster:Dinah
thread:907223
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090706/msgs/907363.html