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unspoken family rules

Posted by henrietta on June 24, 2009, at 20:22:37

In reply to Re: Need help reframing » Dinah, posted by Nadezda on June 24, 2009, at 14:56:48

Nobody but Dad is allowed to express anger, or even FEEL anger. (No restraints whatsoever on Dad's expressions of said banished emotion.)

No discussion of money or sex or what goes on in the bathroom (including periods).

Girls clean and cook, boys don't. (Ditto to Peg's).

You must be superior to everyone outside the family in intelligence, creativity, grammar, rhythm, beauty, knowledge of world events and the names of trees, but don't you dare try to equal Dad's attainments in these and countless other areas.

Mom will only love you if you're a failure, if you're weak and needy. "Survivor" is a verrrry dirty word.

Dad will only give you the time of day if you perfectly feed his narcissistic needs, which take a lifetime to calibrate accurately.

I could go on all night. Gee, this is fun!

 

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poster:henrietta thread:902818
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/903022.html