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Re: More than just one therapy....... » Amelia_in_StPaul

Posted by fleeting flutterby on June 23, 2009, at 15:34:37

In reply to Re: More than just one therapy....... » fleeting flutterby, posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on June 23, 2009, at 12:35:00

> Mandy, what a great post.<<

---flutterby: Hey! thanks. :o)

>> I wish I felt up to contributing, but I'm sort of exhausted just now by these issues. However, I do want to say that I eventually want to come back and talk about DBT, what it does, and how it's helped me. In concert with CBT, it has done for me what nothing else has--not medication, not talk therapy, etc.<<

---flutterby: sorry you're exhausted at this time. I understand. I look forward to talking about DBT-- of which I know practically nothing about. and I find hearing of other modes interesting and enlightening.

>
> Of course, in my individual sessions with my DBT therapist (for those who don't know, when you are in DBT, you have DBT group meetings and then individual therapist with a DBT specialist), we do talk about stuff from my childhood, etc., but only to illuminate what my triggers are and to help me work with those triggers and try to calm my reactions to them. I shouldn't say "only"--my therapist validates my experiences, even if he does provide gentle challenges to my way of thinking or reacting, and that is essential to this process too. Also, the thing about DBT is that you learn a lot of skills--and you learn that you have been using skills all along, but doing so, now, intentionally, and having a menu of skills you can choose from, makes skills-use all the more effective. It's about building mastery.<<

---flutterby: that sounds like something that maybe could be of help for me.... cept.... the "group" thing.... yikes! I don't know if I could do that part.

>
> I have a wonderful individual therapist and a wonderful group. I don't know how I got along all this time without it. But I'd like to eventually post some studies on DBT, b/c there have been so many that show how well it works.<<

--flutterby: Oh that is wonderful for you. Since I've been in therapy my angst has decreased a bit when around most people. I can feel it!-- it's great to not be so hyper-alert.-- was exhausting but I didn't realize it -- if that makes sense.

>
> I personally think DBT works best for learning how to 1) tolerate distress (a huge thing--distress being, of course, anxiety, rage, anger, depression, etc.) 2) identify and assert one's boundaries 3) make wise-minded (emotion and rationality in balance) decisions 4) stand up for oneself, but also give to others (that's just as essential) 5) stop dissociation and probably other things I can't think of just now.
>

--flutterby: Wow-- I could use help with all those things. I've figured out that I dissociate when anxious instead of dealing head on with things. I never had boundaries as a child so they are extremely hard for me to understand.... instead I isolate to lessen my confusion/anxiety. My decision making is -defend(which I rarely do) or run! I don't ever stand up for myself, I didn't matter as a child and learned that others are what matters. (had an extremely narcissistic mother with borderline symptoms also) And still behave this way most times currently.

> But I do think CBT is essentially for figuring out what gets a person into a state of distress in the first place. Sometimes it's triggers, those knee-jerk, often post-traumatic, responses to things, and sometimes it's one
> s faulty cognitions. DBT will take care of the former; CBT, the latter. <<

--flutterby: Oh, I see. they must work well together then.

>
> We do not do anything psychodynamic, and there's isn't a single piece of psychodynamic theory in our work, but that doesn't mean, of course, that we don't talk through issues, and that my therapist doesn't serve as someone important in my life--someone with whom I can practice being in a kind of relationship, though I want to stay away from any implication of transference, since that's not in our vocabulary, and for me, not useful.<<

----flutterby: Oh boy, this is where you lost me. how can it be that it's not psychodynamic if you talk through childhood triggers and practice being in a relationship? that "relationship" stuff is what gets me running from psychodynamic therapy! too scary to allow someone to hold your heart in their hands. I don't want to care about if my therapist thinks I'm the most special one, or if she thinks about me outside of sessions-- that is gving them too much power(IMO)


>

> I am sorry to hear about the horrible things you have suffered.<<

--flutterby: thank you. I've not talked about most things.... mother used to say-- "keep your trash in your own yard"-- worry about my "trash" making someone else's "yard" dirty.

>
> And YES, it definitely sounds like you are doing CBT. You are working on cognitions, it sound like--what you think or feel when something happens--you work to identify those thoughts and feelings--and then practice skills in between. That is definitely CBT.<<

--flutterby: thanks, I thought that's what it was.


>
> Also, I want to say that it isn't only in psychodynamic forms of therapy that people talk about what's happened to them in childhood and etc. But the frameworks are different<<

---flutterby: oh, so it seems it would be hard to tell it all apart then. Therapies are not as clear cut as I had thought-- well, for me anyway.

>>--why a client is encourage to talk about it would be different in different forms of therapy. It may be that you and your T are doing some psychodymamic work.
>
> Regardless, it sounds like you are getting a lot of help, which is great. It does sound eclectic, which as Scott has said elsewhere (I think), is what many people do.
>

---flutterby: I thought we were doing a mix of things... it seems to be a pretty good mix for me. like--I've never stayed at a job more than a year, or two at the most, but now since I've been in therapy-- I just had my 3 year anniversary at my job!(I think people at jobs are against me, so I quit-- but now the T. and I talk through situations and they don't seem as threatening as they would if I didn't have that other person's insight) I know it's therapy that has helped me accomplish this. and...I'm recently learning to stand up for myself in my marriage, now husband is working on getting out of his alcoholism.

best to all here,
flutterby-mandy

 

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poster:fleeting flutterby thread:902623
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/902778.html