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Re: What does depression feel like? » seldomseen

Posted by garnet71 on April 7, 2009, at 21:33:57

In reply to Re: What does depression feel like? » yellowbird01, posted by seldomseen on April 7, 2009, at 21:08:43

Well that was a very anti-battleship gray description you wrote there; very colorful.

"About 3 weeks into treatment things began to snap into focus. I started to see in color and taste food again. I remember I ate this cheap blueberry muffin from some coffee shop and thinking "man this is the best thing I have *ever* tasted."

That's too funny about the processed blueberry muffin that was probably full of corn syrup. lol That's how I am when i came out of depression and more memorably, when i quit SSRIs; except not with food, but with music. Last time I quit Zoloft recently, I was in my car and a song came on the radio that goes "on the Mexican radio..oh oh..I wish I was in Tijuiana eating a barbequed iguana.."

I don't remember having much of an opinion about that song before that, but all of the sudden, it was the greatest song in the world-I loved it! I still love it..I guess my emotions connect to music. It's the sound of your blueberry muffin..lol.

When I got out of bootcamp, the first song I heard on the radio was Slim Shady, Eminem. It was also the greatest song at the time...and i still feel good when I hear it. Well, I was also deprived of music for 6 weeks, except when the drill sergeant forced us to do chemical warfare exercises while listening to Metallica, ACDC, and Ozzy Osbourne.

It's weird how music correlates with emotional memories. There's many songs from when I grew up and had other hard times, then very pleasant experiences, that I have a similar reaction to. Musical emotion for me usually corresponds with an intense sense of freedom; liberation. At the time I left my son's father, when I was 23, that song Name by the GooGoo dolls was always on the radio. I always tear up when i hear it-it still sounds so good. I just remember driving in my car with all the windows down, that song always playing. Being so happy. I was free from everything ugly for the first time since I had been born.

You know, I once heard that hearing is the worst sense to lose--even worse than sight--because it somehow totally disconnects you from the world. I also read a research summary/article that said smell was the sense that provokes the deepest emotional memories of all the senses. I actually still have the scent of my ex bf's pheremones imprinted in my brain. I can 'retrieve' that scent at any given time, and it was always intoxicating.

 

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poster:garnet71 thread:889281
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