Posted by seldomseen on April 7, 2009, at 12:16:01
In reply to I need some help and support......possible trigger, posted by rskontos on April 7, 2009, at 11:30:21
AS a teacher, both at a university and a community college I can say without equivocation that most of your fears are not specific to you or your diagnosis. They are something that most students experience when starting their education. Like any other subject, fear can be wrangled and mastered by actively engaging and challenging that fear.
As far as your list:
1. Too old
The older students in my classes always add so much to the class. They typically bring in a wealth of experience. The older student typically *wants* to be there rather than *has* to be there. It makes a world of difference.2. will dissociate too much
I don't mean to sound glib, but if you could stand in the front of the classroom, you would see a fair (understatement) amount of dissociation, even from those without the disorder. I consider myself to be a pretty engaging instructor but sometimes blank stares, yawning, glazing, sleeping, doodling, twirling hair - oh its all par for the course. Any instructor worth his/her salt can deal with this and help the students make up what they zoned out on. Repetition of the material is the key. If you missed it the first time, don't worry, it will be coming around again.
3. money it will cost
Yes, it costs money, so I would do a careful cost-benefit analysis of the potential gain versus the potential expenditure. Learning and expanding can certainly occur outside of classroom.4. being self conscious in a class with so many younger
Again, this can be an issue - or it can not. I can promise you this- the students do not care who is in the class with them, not at all. AS the semester progesses, the class itself comes together as an entity.5. being smart enough although T thinks I am very bright (still cant wrap my arms around that.)
Being smart has absolutely nothing to do with being in school. Intelligence is a poor predictor, IMO, of "success" - which by the way is up to you to define. Instead, tt has everything to do with preparation and skills acquisition. Instead of jumping right into Advanced Differential Equations, you might want to start with a more basic mathematics course and build your confidence and your skills as you go.
6. still having a hard time with my dx and the fact that the dx means trauma of a large magnitude happened. Regardless how much I remember, which is still small.
I think your diagnosis may *describe* a set of symptoms you are experiencing, but it in no way *defines* who you are or what you are capable of. If you are having a hard time with your diagnosis, then as radical as this may sound, I think you should *discard it*. It's just words on a form when it comes down to it.7. don't feel I deserve it.
So you don't feel as though you deserve to learn and grow? I don't know you from Adam's housecat, but I can tell you without reserve that it is a *basic human right* to improve ourselves, pursue happiness and knowledge as and when we see fit. This tape that is playing in your head telling you otherwise needs to be ejected as forcefully as you can manage.Hope this helps, just my two cents. Of course, the decision to pursue or not is ultimately yours.
Peace
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:889202
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/889214.html