Posted by backseatdriver on April 2, 2009, at 15:16:33
In reply to I'm back in the black hole, posted by TherapyGirl on April 1, 2009, at 19:45:18
Basically I think your T screwed up. She's right that you have the strength inside you -- I have been reading your posts and I am always impressed by your self-awareness and insight.
But she's not giving you any tools. (Possibly she doesn't have the insight or skills herself. You can't give what you don't have - that principle might be operative.)
It is hard to let go of someone you care about. Two people at once is really more than doubly hard. The whole idea of "letting go" implies a degree of control that one just does not have in this context -- that is the whole problem, that people don't just "let go" of other people the way you can let go of something you hold in your hand.
It might help to remember that our relationships are always at least partly imaginary. We dream up our friends and lovers, in a process of co-construction (they help us do it, we help them do the same). Your best friend will always exist in your memory, in your head and heart; same for your therapist. This is due not to anything so very special in them, but to *your* work, your effort, your sincere imaginative labor -- and it says something wonderful about you, that you are able to do this in such depth.
Other deep attachments will come to you. It probably seems hard to believe right now but I know this because it has happened to me. A door closes, it feels like the end of the world, and then, suddenly another one opens.
- BSD
poster:backseatdriver
thread:888095
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/888243.html