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Re: I Feel So Weird » backseatdriver

Posted by wittgensteinz on March 10, 2009, at 3:06:20

In reply to I Feel So Weird, posted by backseatdriver on March 9, 2009, at 22:23:38

BSD,

I don't know if this is on target or not but these questions come to mind when reading this...

Have you been able to say what you wrote here in session to your T? Has the seduction been talked about openly? Seduction is something secretive - a secret game, that takes place as a subtext, while other things continue as normal. It takes two people - even if you aren't being seductive back, could it be that you feel guilty for being 'compliant' or for not saying "hey, what are you doing with your eyes, right now?". Could it be that you enjoy it/like it. There's nothing wrong with any of that - I think most people would like it if another person, someone who means a lot, would find them attractive. That's a natural response. Speaking about it is probably the best way to open things up and to disarm the 'tension'.

It always worries me a bit when people write "it's OK we're both married... kids..." because it shouldn't matter if you were both single, same age... perfect fit in real life. The question of breaking boundaries, as far as the therapist is concerned, should never come into question. Of course we all have our fantasies but he should do what he needs to to keep the therapeutic situation a safe and... therapeutic... one. I hope he can do this for you.

It's sad that you are feeling guilty about this. You said in the other thread that you felt guilty for your feelings about angry woman. Often these instinctive feelings are things we have absolutely no control over - they are deep-rooted in us from earlier traumas and needs. I don't think you've done anything wrong.

Witti

 

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