Posted by lucie lu on March 8, 2009, at 11:34:56
In reply to Re: Anger, individuation, and taking risks (long) » lucie lu, posted by raisinb on March 7, 2009, at 13:55:13
>I still get angry at the inherent limitations, mostly because I can't see them as not about me--it seems like if I acquiesce to these limits, I am acknowledging that I don't deserve the things I want from her--and in general.
Raisin, I feel this way too. This is, for me, a large part of what makes dependency so painful. The feeling of being undeserving is so hard to work through. I'm not sure I ever will completely.
> I can identify with the fact that a more egalitarian, less dependent relationship is scary. Sometimes I feel that my whole life, I've been looking for the love and care that I didn't get as a child. When I think about maybe not needing that so much, it's scary, because then, what do I shoot for? What goals do I replace that longing with?
>You hit the nail squarely on the head with your last question. I think it deserves its own thread, don't you?
poster:lucie lu
thread:884214
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/884419.html