Posted by petunia on February 21, 2009, at 16:06:23
In reply to Re: Need help answering T's question...need info. » petunia, posted by AMF on February 20, 2009, at 8:27:14
Hi, AMF!
I did not find anything cohesive on the net. I found a gazillion references to the various sorts of losses I described, but not all together, and not what I think you may be looking for.
It's one of those things where you're saying in your head, "I *know* I saw that somewhere..." :)
However, I can tell you that the book _Trauma and Recovery_ by Judith Herman (which your therapist has no doubt read and maybe even owns) discusses these unseen losses in depth. I have a couple of books by Laurel Parnell on the subject of EMDR, and she goes into this at depth, because they are targeted in EMDR as "negative cognitions": what do I believe now because of the traumatic event?
Other posters had some really good points too. The only thing I would add is that it doesn't matter whether you had your sense of self shattered in warfare or in a cruel twist of fate, it is no less shattered. "Sense of self" in this case being who you thought you were, what you thought the world was, what you thought you could and could never do, the boundary between the evils you know of in the world as opposed to those that you personally never expected to encounter, etc.
So in your search, please don't discount any reference to warfare or crime or events you have not experienced personally, but ask yourself: does the feeling fit? Do the losses that a soldier feels at having been forced to kill seem parallel to your own? Do the losses of a 9/11 survivor feel familiar to you? Because frankly, your own losses are just as real and legitimate, and probably very similar.
I amy be preaching to the choir, and if so I apologize! But as a PTSD survivor myself, I know how INCREDIBLY easy it is to completely discount the validity and legitimacy of just this sort of unseen and unquantifiable loss, all the while having my every move, thought and decision directed by it. In fact, for a long time I thought it meant I had "moved forward" and looked at it as a good thing, until I collapsed. It's not just easy for others to discount ansd ignore, it easy for *us*. Well, me at least. :)
I'll keep an eye out. Best wishes!
poster:petunia
thread:880992
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/881543.html