Posted by SLS on February 18, 2009, at 13:07:52
In reply to Re: Transference and Counter-Transference?, posted by backseatdriver on February 18, 2009, at 11:58:40
* Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to post to me. I really do appreciate it.
> If you suspect your T has has a crush on you, why not bring it up in session?
Now *that* would take real courage.
You know, I think it might be worth bringing this stuff up, but I don't feel that it is the right time. I know, I know, it never seems like the right time. I'm not ready. I still fear that it might be self-defeating.
How would it help the relationship with my therapist if I were to ask her if she had a crush on me?
I still feel comfortable with just "wondering" occasional and not really pay it any more attention than that. I have been able to put it away. As far as any feelings or fantasies that I may have had early on, I seem to have simply allowed them to recede by not seriously entertaining the notion. It could never be, so why encourage the thoughts and feelings.
Under what circumstances would I want to disclose any of this? Is there something that I should look out for going on inside my head? It couldn't possibly be my being self-assured that all women want me. And if they don't, they should. :-)
I guess I must be mistaken. I don't think a good therapist would passively allow feelings to develop towards their clients. Am I expecting too much? I must be mistaking the smiles my therapist gives to everyone as being somehow special for me. Attentiveness. Stuff like that.
I guess I don't know what I would have to gain by questioning whether counter-transference is occurring. I could handle the word "no" with great ease. I don't think I could handle the word "yes" if it meant her havings feelings of romance or intimacy. I am scared to broach the subject.
I am still open to suggestions and education.