Posted by SLS on February 13, 2009, at 17:38:38
In reply to Terminated and devastated :(, posted by brooksie1 on February 13, 2009, at 16:20:10
I can hardly imagine how upside down your life must seem right now. You do a hell of a good job putting into words, though. Don't plan on the anxiety and despair to go away over night. However, you will get through this. You really need to believe this. If nothing else, it is logical.
I agree with what the others have said.
You are taking on 100% of responsibility as if you existed in a vacuum. You don't. Whatever happened was the product of an interaction between yourself and the people around you, including your T. If you can recognize your errors in judgment, you are fortunate. You can learn from them.
You don't lose everything you have gained. If through what you have learned, your marriage is better, it will stay better. Such is also true of all the issues you have addressed and made progress on.
Hey - mistake or no mistake - you didn't do anything wrong. Are you an evil person? Of course not. You have wronged no one. You are just living life.
I hope you come to forgive yourself for a perfectly human foible. I think self-loathing will keep you stuck.
Now is a time for you to take a new turn in your path along your journey through life. Look forward to the possibility that you will find a new T who is good for you - different - but good.
Ahh. What do I know. This stuff is all new to me.
I hope I didn't trivialize your pain or underestimate the complexity of your situation. A year from now, you will be proud of yourself for having dealt with this crisis effectively.
Good luck.
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:879943
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/879957.html