Posted by Dinah on January 19, 2009, at 10:13:45
In reply to I'm back in the black hole, posted by TherapyGirl on January 19, 2009, at 7:32:46
((( Therapygirl )))
I'm afraid I don't know your diagnosis or if biology plays a large role in your depression. But for myself I know that part of what goes on for me can't be cured by therapy, just managed. It's discouraging, I know, to be back in that place. But try to hold on to the fact that your depression is telling you those things, and depression lies.
I understand your feeling alone, as you anticipate losing an important and consistent support in your life. Losing anyone is hard, but somehow this sort of loss has an extra layer of hard. You've invested so much in a relationship and it seems so strange to have it end this way.
No one knows more than I do that therapists are not interchangeable and that you just can't go find a new one any more than a new puppy would replace a beloved canine friend. Therapists aren't like washing machines. But maybe it would help you feel less alone if you line up new supports for when your therapist leaves. It might take more than one type of support to fill such a huge gap. It won't replace her, and it won't lessen your loss in any way. That can't be done. But it can provide a leg in your support stool. Or many small legs.