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Re: maybe I'm missing something here » lucie lu

Posted by turtle on December 7, 2008, at 22:59:20

In reply to maybe I'm missing something here, posted by lucie lu on December 7, 2008, at 17:32:32

Lucie,

I think that many would agree with you that the issue is a balance of trust and shame. Sometimes shame is in my blind spot, which leads my wise therapist to tell me that sometimes the emotions we have the hardest time feeling are the most important to us. Maybe so.

For me, I think my posting problems are a balance of trust and fear, since fear is one emotion I'm well dialed into at the moment. I think one of the dilemmas of posting in an open community like this is the question of how to build trust with an open, ever changing collective? My therapist is very gentle and stable. Not only is she soft spoken and accepting of me, but she is also has a dual-career as a religious leader (although we never discuss religion). How much more safe and trust worthy can you get than that? Yet, almost a year into it with her I'm still going through the 'withdraw then rebuild safety and trust' dance regularly, even though I can clearly see that she is doing nothing to create this in me. Babble feels like an ever swirling risky venture compared to that! My experience here so far has been very rewarding though and worth the risk.

I am sorry that you are having a difficult weekend with your mother. It made me sad to hear that you were hiding in the basement. The basement just won't do! It made me wish that I could call you up and plan a 007 style get away for you. You need a real break, not just a hide out. I've been very touched by your posts this weekend.

Thanks,
turtle

 

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