Posted by Partlycloudy on November 12, 2008, at 22:59:26
In reply to Re: Still all out of sorts » Partlycloudy, posted by lucie lu on November 12, 2008, at 19:42:58
I'm the same person I was before I remembered all this trauma - I just have all this added flavor, ha ha ha. It does seem to put some of the puzzle (of me) pieces in place - like I don't have to put my substance addiction ALL on genetics, now I can pin some of it on what happened to me, like a bonus. Guess I'm doing the gallows humour thing tonight.
Really, I'm trying to get to that place where I'm OK with what happened. I can see a couple of routes to perhaps take me there. For instance, I'm a bit sketchy on the family history around that time. (I remember that my mom had started to work full time, and that my dad had started his own business, and that we were kind of suddenly rather poor. Also that I had lost any kind of continuity, school wise, because of us moving, and my siblings and I all ended up in different schools (there are four of us)!!! Now that's pretty incredible.)
So I think that instead of asking questions relating to the trauma itself, I can do some fill in the blank stuff quite safely with my mom and maybe my sister by asking about what our family was doing at that time - it will help to flesh out the general period for me.
I know that I'm finding my own path to healing. It may not be a straight line. It may stop for a bit while I catch my breath or let my body tell me in its own way exactly what it needs - my job is to listen to it. The sleeping thing is part of that. I'm in a state of flux right now - not yet at the therapeutic dosages of the new medications, and I'm feeling the lack of the one I've had to stop. My sleep is kind of spotty. So some nights I may not sleep as well as others - I don't think I'm going to do any more fiddling until the meds are where they are supposed to be, and then I'll see how I'm doing.
Heck, I waited 35 years for all this stuff to surface at all - I think I can do a little bit longer to find my peace. At least I still have my hope, and my faith.
poster:Partlycloudy
thread:862351
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/862718.html