Posted by seldomseen on October 12, 2008, at 9:05:53
In reply to I give up geeze, posted by lemonaide on October 11, 2008, at 14:34:49
You can leave, that's obviously your choice. Or, you can try to take what you see as good and leave what you see as bad.
As i've said before, I'm a runner myself. I do tend to bolt at the first sign of trouble, perceived or actual. It has cost me a lot.
Also, what I think you're most hoping to find is validation, that what your T did was wrong. In my opinion it definately was.
Not necessarily for the disclosures listed, but IMO because he let the therapy get away from him. There clearly was a lot of sexual tension between you two, and a lot of friendship. I think when he realized that instead of a friend, you needed a therapist, he tried, and completely mishandled, trying to get your therapy back on track.
The "i wouldn't come to your funeral" comment was I think his way of trying to re-establish the boundaries that would allow your therapy. Instead, it was a flat out rejection. It's malpractice above all else IMO and (while I have my analytical therapist hat on) I think it is that rejection that you are still trying to absorb.
What I'm most concerned about though is your sensitivity to thinking you did something wrong.
Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. I don't know and I don't think anyone else will ever know either, including you. What is clear was that he mishandled your therapy. It was a bad, no win situation for all parties.
While I will never be a defense attorney for your T, my guess is he feels kinda crappy about it too, but you shouldn't be concerned with that at all.
From here on out I think this should be all about you. Your healing, your recovery and your emergence from this whole again.
You definately drew the short stick when it came to therapists. But the future in now 100% in your control.
I wish you peace if you decide not to return. I hope you do.
Take good good care.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:856899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/857035.html