Posted by Wittgensteinz on October 11, 2008, at 11:22:30
In reply to Now I am really upset, posted by lemonaide on October 11, 2008, at 10:15:46
Of course it's up to you whether you take a break or not - but it's a real pity if you do so because of a couple of repsonses to your earlier thread. I don't think anyone meant you harm or hurt.
I think Daisy's post was one of support. She wasn't denying what happened - she wasn't invalidating you - she was just pointing out that context is important for meaning. I think you demonstrate that exactly by referring to something her therapist said to her about 'being good in bed' (now I seem to recall something about this but it's quite vague) - the point I want to express is that in the context even such a potentially risky comment is safe, valuable and therapeutic.
(I have always taken Daisy's therapist as the model of the good therapist - and Daisy, your posts have been very useful for me - the openness with which you write, the way you share with us such valuable exchanges you have with your therapist is fascinating and so relevant.)
There are things I could repeat my therapist having said that in isolation would seem most inappropriate but in the context of the sentence and in the wider context of the relationship have been deeply healing. Of course everyone gets it wrong sometimes - we do and our therapists do too.
I don't think people are questioning the happenings with your T (T1) - I just think it was a caution against sensationalism - that there are other ways than homing in on particular things your therapists might have said. What is more important is how he made you feel. How did his breaching/violating the boundaries make you feel - how does it reflect other boundary breaches in your life/why did you stay in that situation/how can you stand up to it happening again? etc. etc.
You are not a bad person and I don't believe anyone is telling you you have done something wrong (perhaps it is a sensitive issue when someone makes a strong assertion about another person's therapist - but that doesn't mean you are 'wrong' or 'bad').
Are you able to take a deep breath and read those posts again and see that there was no fight - just intelligent and open discussion? I truly disagree that you have been attacked.
I think when we post here we have to be open to different types of responses. Some might not sit as comfortably with us as others but these responses perhaps hold the highest worth - they challenge us, make us think out of the box - make us think about what really matters.
Take care Lemonaide,
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:856899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/856906.html