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Re: Maybe it's bad luck to keep the names » lemonaide

Posted by Dinah on October 8, 2008, at 22:05:15

In reply to Re: Maybe it's bad luck to keep the names, posted by lemonaide on October 7, 2008, at 22:52:51

I used to think it was totally because of my parents. Not only were they volatile and I had to be able to read their moods for my own benefit, but I often mediated disputes, or tried to make the actions of the one seem less horrible to the other (truthfully sometimes, other times with a bit of mendacity). In doing that I had to be minutely aware of their slightest reaction to everything I said, even before they were aware of it themselves, so that I could quickly change course as needed.

But my son also has the ability, so now I'm leaning towards nature rather than nurture. I may have honed my abilities with my parents, but I think they were already there. Probably a result of the same set of characteristics that cause me to have an overreactive hair trigger nervous system.

I wish it helped me in general, but it doesn't. It only helps me with people I know really well. First of all, I'm totally tuned in to my husband and son and therapist. My antennae are up and focused. But also I know them well enough to use the information once I have it. With the rest of the world, I'd probably be better off not knowing that they're annoyed or upset or whatever, because I have no way of quickly knowing what I did wrong or how to fix it. It just paralyzes me in a situation where blissful unawareness would have let it all blow over uneventfully.

It's always hard for me to believe that the ability isn't widespread. Still, I remember how impressed I was by my neurologist. She'd tell me quite accurately how I was feeling as soon as she walked in the door.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:856246
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/856503.html