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Re: Mutual attraction » Suedehead

Posted by seldomseen on October 6, 2008, at 20:16:03

In reply to Mutual attraction, posted by Suedehead on October 6, 2008, at 18:53:35

Some time ago my therapist revealed very much the same thing. He still tells me that I am very attractive when I do this one thing.

He even went so far to say that he did desire me sexually and that there was two people- a man and a woman in that room. I mean it wasn't something that he harped on or anything, but it was definately out in the open.

It was a VERY tough thing to deal with. It felt like there was a whole lot of push-pull, stop-go. It was obvious nothing was going to happen between us. So no worries there.

But it did, at least for me, put a wedge of fear between us that had to be dealt with.

I remember in one landmark session he pointed out that those feelings of mutual attraction and desire could exist in the room and not spoil anything. They could be held there.

It turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me in therapy. Attraction, desire could just "be". No one was harmed by it and it didn't impair the work we were doing.

It's still kind of neat that my T thinks I'm attractive, but it's clearly not the most important thing in my therapy.

We have a deep alliance now that was very much fueled by mutal disclosure and honesty. In the end it actually made me trust him more.

You've got to talk about this, talk about how you feel about it. THe good and the bad.

If used correctly it can potentially drive the therapy.

Keep us posted.

Seldom

 

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