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Re: confused... » lucie lu

Posted by Amanda29 on September 28, 2008, at 20:24:24

In reply to Re: confused... » Amanda29, posted by lucie lu on September 28, 2008, at 20:15:48

Thank you. I want to be able to go and lay in the bed and not talk to anyone...and I am afraid that I would do just that...I tend to be stubborn and I don't handle authority figures well..and as a matter of fact there is a woman psychiatrist that I used to be a patient of..and one of the reasons I have stayed out of the hospital is because of her...if I were to run into her...I would completely go off and they would have to sedate me...because I cannot handle her....and they would restrain me and it just wouldnt be a good thing. I would lay around because I wouldnt want to do anything they say...(im not proud of that..) but when I get depressed..there is nothing anyone can do to make me do anything. Like today..I was either on the computer...or lying in bed.

About an hour ago I coudnt stand to be in my house anymore so I just got in my car and drove around for about 20 minutes...which was a complete waste of gas...but and now, I am about to go to sleep ...but I keep waiting to see if my T will respond to my email...which I dont think he will tonight.

When I was at rehab...they had us going constantly every hour until like ten at night...and I was severealy depressed for about a week and didnt leave my bed...until they started writing me up...and I just dont know what to do with myself...I want to escape from reality...abusing benzos was my way of escaping..and now I cannot do anything...and I am in so much pain.


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poster:Amanda29 thread:854659
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/854680.html