Posted by stellabystarlight on September 19, 2008, at 22:58:52
In reply to Partners' feelings about your LT therapy?, posted by lucie lu on September 19, 2008, at 19:35:24
LUCIE: How do your partners feel about your long-term therapy? LT therapy can be really hard for partners, especially when the T is the same gender as the partner.
STELLA: My husband thinks it's great as long as I feel it's furthering me in my quest to reintegrate me in a healthier way. In fact, he encouraged me to stay with therapy, when I thought about quitting. However, he knows very little about everything that transpires in my therapy and doesn't ask.
LUCIE: Has your partner met your T?
STELLA: No way - not now anyway! It would feel too much like introducing a boyfriend to a husband. Wow, you're really making me think about how my T feels to me with this question... He is so many things to me right now; father, mother, son, friend, mentor, therapist, LOVER/BOYFRIEND! Very complicated.
LUCIE: What are the issues that have come up between you - jealousy? cost?
STELLA: My husband doesn't have any issues with the cost, but jealousy...hmmm...only because he doesn't know about the intense Lover/Boyfriend "transference". Although my husband is supportive and psychologically very sophisticated, I think he would feel threatened by the erotic transference and ask me to stop seeing my T. But, if he could overlook his understandable insecurities, he would say to stay with him to work through all the transference that's popped up.
LUCIE: How has therapy affected your relationship? This is very difficult and painful problem for me.
STELLA: Well, my T happens to be very attractive and more my physical type, so it did affect my relationship in that I fantasized about my T. But, my problem with my husband runs pretty deep, so deep that they're independent of my feelings towards my T. I've been seeing my relationship with my T in a more rational way since we've been discussing candidly about my erotic and love transference. And, this has helped me to see that my husband is the one that I should really count on. In this way, therapy has helped our relationship. We still have many problems, but my T has somehow made me more understanding of my husband's feelings. I'll have to think about how this is happening since I don't really talk about my husband too much.
I'm sorry that therapy has affected your relationship in a negative way Lucie. How has it created difficulty and pain? Cost? Transference?
Interesting thread Lucie!
Stellabystarlight
poster:stellabystarlight
thread:853000
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/853026.html