Posted by raisinb on August 16, 2008, at 10:34:55
In reply to Feeling shame and anger, posted by DAisym on August 15, 2008, at 21:05:17
Hi Daisy--
I hate it when my therapist says things like that too. Usually, I can remember that she says them because she wants me to be happy. Because she cares about me, she doesn't want me to be dependent on her forever, and she wants me to have things that she can't provide, at least not for the rest of my life.But it still stings. I want to curl up there and find everything I've been lacking. ("there"= in her lap, specifically).
Society sends us so many messages about being able to fix our depression ourselves. There's no shortage of ignorant, judgmental people out there. And we live in a culture that overall denies the validity of needs for connectedness--unless we're getting them met in very specific ways (i.e, a traditionally "perfect" family with a solid marriage and two children--never mind that this almost never exists). Happiness and self-reliance are always more acceptable than sadness or loneliness. It's normal to feel shame about your sadness, but it is not your issue alone.
poster:raisinb
thread:846523
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/846636.html