Posted by Partlycloudy on August 13, 2008, at 19:53:47
In reply to I took the leap and called my T on vacation, posted by Partlycloudy on August 13, 2008, at 9:06:23
It felt as if I'd been away for a month, instead of just 2 weeks. I noted that I've been able to make almost instantaneous connections now between a stressful situation, and the physical pain that my body reacts with. The headaches, the back pain - it really wasn't crystal clear to me until I was away from the source of all that stress - and I felt absolutely fine. (My husband, though, experienced some transitory bad sinus pain - it would seem that he assumed the role of carrying the actual pain while I was away, though I don't know that he'd make the same connection that I do.)
So, onwards. A while ago my therapist had suggested a book for me to read - "Forgiving the Unforgivable" and I balked. Not only at the title, but at the concept. Am I really ready to do some forgiving? And once I started to think about it, there are many areas in my life that could do with just such a release, if I'm able to make my way through this book. So far I've only read the introduction, and it didn't scare me off. So I will take it slowly, rationing myself to a few pages a day. We'll see.
What I didn't expect was the tenderness and outward affection that I received from my spouse after my short time away. I think that he too, though not actively participating in the therapeutic process of his own, is in some way benefiting by me becoming more healthy and conscious in how I behave with him. We felt much more of a partnership after my absence, which I appreciate and accept with some grace.
Part of what made my departure timely was that it allowed my husband to speak with frankness and openness with his daughter, who is living with us (she's 26). Usually when I'm at home I'm the person who is feeling the discomfort and awkwardness of our domestic situation. With me out of the picture, he was able to find his own voice - and be the father he is to his daughter. It's still very uncomfortable. She doesn't want to be with us, and neither do we want her living off of us. I'm glad, though, that I was out of the conversation for these days, so that they could get their own dirty laundry aired out without my comment or presence.
pc
poster:Partlycloudy
thread:845883
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/846027.html