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Re: Had my session today » Lemonaide

Posted by Dinah on August 8, 2008, at 17:50:34

In reply to Re: Had my session today » Dinah, posted by Lemonaide on August 7, 2008, at 18:40:44

I've found at least three quarters of my learning and changing in therapy came from working on the relationship with my therapist. Learning to work through problems without sweeping them under the rug. As Twinleaf said, repairing the many ruptures that come in a relationship. Learning that I can be angry with him, and he can be angry with me, and our relationship can survive that. Learning to hold onto both caring and anger at once.

The benefits are far greater than just learning how to be in relationship with your therapist, or even learning how to be in relationship with anyone. There are also lessons in acceptance and disappointment and... well, I don't know. I just know that I'm not the same person now that I was.

If you think your current therapist is a decent person and a skilled enough therapist, I'd try to work it out with him rather than starting anew. The problem with starting anew is that you keep going over the same ground and don't find your way to the next level.

He may be upset right now about talk of lawyers and naming names on the internet. But in the context of a long term relationship, and as you prove yourself trustworthy to him, he will get past it. You say that you think your anger affects your relationships. Who better to work on it with than someone you think may be angry with you?

Of course I haven't been a fly on the wall in your therapy, so I may well be missing important aspects. That's the limitations of this type of forum.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:844792
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