Posted by sunnydays on June 16, 2008, at 22:57:21
In reply to Re: He called just now, posted by Phillipa on June 16, 2008, at 16:51:54
I think that ethically he has to make sure your current T is aware he is talking to you - I had sort of this situation before and they won't discuss much, just enough to know that this has been talked about. That you're not doing something impulsive without the knowledge of your current T, etc. And to get the legal issues, signing of papers and such, ironed out. Probably not to get an idea of what you want to talk about. Probably more to straighten out some of those ethical issues. Tell your T EXPLICITLY anything you don't want him to share with oldT. He legally has to respect that, I believe. But it must be crystal clear from your wording, you can't be vague at all.
Are you sure you want to do this HF? I just get the sense that you want to vanquish oldT and for him to feel vanquished, and I don't think you're going to get that. I think he'll either be really defensive and denying, or get angry. Also, some of the things you are saying, like you have said, are in an ethical gray area, so I don't expect you will be able to get him to agree with you that they were wrong. He MAY agree it's a gray area, but he may also claim that you interpreted it totally wrong and never told him how you were interpreting it (and that he never understood any hints or whatever signs you think he should have been able to interpret) so he never knew how it was affecting you.
I just want you to be prepared for it to go the exact opposite of how you want/think it's going to go. Human beings are fickle creatures, and terribly unpredictable. Don't get your hopes up. And I think it might be wise to consider not doing it, just because it can be impossible not to get unconscious hopes up, and, in my personal experience, those are the most devastating ones to have crushed.
Take care of yourself,
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:834906
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080616/msgs/835004.html