Posted by Dinah on June 15, 2008, at 22:53:01
In reply to Re: Not too happy with my therapist today, posted by muffled on June 15, 2008, at 22:19:06
Muffled, most importantly, I have *never* known you to say dumb things. I've told you before how wise I think you are. One thing I've told my therapist I want to work on in therapy right now is generosity of spirit. And you're the person I tell him about to describe what I mean. He knows your name well. :)
See, we don't always or even usually talk about the abandonment stuff in therapy. I know he doesn't like it. And sometimes I don't even realize I'm upset about something until well after the session. Gosh, that's another thing that hasn't happened regularly for a long time. Emotional time bombs.
I've always gotten more clingy when I feel uncertain. I guess recently feeling better was because I felt so safe. Stupidly safe. He had finally convinced me that he actually cared about me. I was secure that he wasn't going anywhere. And now I'm not secure he's not going anywhere, and that makes me annoyingly clingy, so he gets irritated with me, which scares me more and makes me cling more.
Sigh. If I could get less scared, I think I might want to take a break until things get better at least.
I'm so sorry things didn't work out with your therapist. I'm glad that the intensity of missing her got better. My experience of losing my therapist last time was that things did get less intense, but...
I dunno. I think I don't attach easily but when I do I'm a leech. :(
I know a consultation is probably a good idea in theory. But I have the uneasy feeling that the reason things have gone south is because of supervision he's gotten or some sort of outside influence. Our relationship has evolved over the years, and filling in a consultant on all of that might be impossible.
poster:Dinah
thread:834764
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/834825.html