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How do you get your attachment needs met?

Posted by backseatdriver on April 3, 2008, at 18:31:02

Hi,

First, I'm new here! I'll do my best not to screw up. Please forgive me if I make mistakes while I'm learning the ropes.

I'm thinking about the need for attachment. The need to feel loved. Perhaps they are not the same. Specifically I am thinking about the old psychology research finding, that baby monkeys will prefer a "warm" cloth-covered substitute mother to a "cold" wire substitute, even when the wire substitute dispenses milk.

Simplifying and generalizing, the basic idea is: we want love a whole lot, maybe even more than food. It is a basic drive.

And then I was reading a book today that mentioned that no one really knows how to supply attachment needs, not even therapists.

So, my questions:

Should we expect therapists to meet attachments needs, or try to?
If our attachment needs weren't met in childhood, will they ever be met?
And, if so, how?

I'm asking, as the adult child of a mother with a serious attachment pathology. I have trouble feeling loved. I'm in psychotherapy.

Thanks for reading,
BackseatD


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poster:backseatdriver thread:821406
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/821406.html