Posted by raisinb on January 23, 2008, at 15:04:14
In reply to still miserable about love feelings for therapist, posted by widget on January 23, 2008, at 14:42:46
Widget, I know how you feel. I felt this way for two years, so please don't feel bad about the length of time. I knew the "reality" of what I could expect, but I just couldn't get my feelings to agree (it is hard when your feelings INSIST that there is an intense connection, even harder when your therapist talks about how deep the connection is too--of course, she just meant therapy-wise, but still...).
I'm putting this in the past tense because my feelings seem to be dissipating, but it may be just as accurate to say they're "in remission" at the moment. They tend to jump back when I least expect it, usually when she is particularly emotional or caring.
I have no problem getting dates or partners and I do it so often that my friends call me a "dating junkie." I've been doing this because I am desperate to find someone who will take away my feelings for my therapist. I know this isn't realistic, but it's hard to know what else to do. I also sometimes feel like I should just take someone who loves *me* and accept I'm never going to love like I do for my T. I also wonder whether I'm even capable of "real" love because I can't shake this (or maybe I am, finally, I don't know). If I am, it's not because of anything I can rationally express at the moment. It's some kind of unconscious shift that might take me a while to verbalize.
Anyway, it's so tough. I know how you feel. Try not to beat up on yourself; that makes it worse.
poster:raisinb
thread:808562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/808564.html