Posted by gardenergirl on January 20, 2008, at 21:54:17
"Prostrate with grief"--I know what that means now. I don't think I really thought it was so literal, but it is. The up close and way too personal view of my kitchen floor today proves it. You start out just by starting to cry, and then you find yourself leaning against something, in my case the fridge. Soon, even that support isn't enough, and you slide down to a squat. And then as your body continues to heave, the hands come down, followed by the knees, and then finally you're all out down on the floor. Crying. Sobbing. Keening. Wailing. Gasping. Crying. Begging. Praying. Crying. Over and over and over again.
When the dog came over to investigate, I thought maybe she was "worried" about me. Turns out she just wanted to eat the kleenex that was so woefully inadequate.
I feel like my heart is breaking and that I'm dying inside because my husband has decided he does not want children. This now that I've finally realized I do. More than anything. And there's nothing for it. No acceptable resolution.
And I don't know what to do...
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:808045
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/808045.html