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Re: i have no hugs ClearSkies

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 11, 2008, at 13:29:08

In reply to Re: i have no hugs LlurpsieNoodle, posted by ClearSkies on January 11, 2008, at 9:36:30

> Dearest Llurpsie, your H feels quite threatened that you've suggested your life together is less than perfect and that counseling would be helpful. In my view and vast experience, it would be best for you to get the counseling for yourself - that is, call your T about this fissure and the problems it is causing you.

I talked to T yesterday. we reviewed everything and i felt somewhat better. but then H started in on me again. I'm just not strong enough to withstand it. H obviously has a lot to say to me. I just wish he could say it in a safe place.

> You can't change H or how he thinks, but you can work on how you react to his upsets. IMO, if you get help, then you both will benefit. This is the strategy that I have been using with my T, and it has helped me become more compassionate about my own H and helped us achieve more intimacy. It's not that I'm doing all the work, either - but at this point, I'm the person who is ready to seek help; in so doing, he is growing along with me, in an inevitable way.
I hope it works that way, because I am trying really hard. it's just that H is SOOOO stubborn and regards psychotherapy as the devil's creation.

> I think this is a good example of where our T's can help us with practical day to day issues.
> CS

yes, it's a good example. :(


((((CS)))) sticky hugs right back atcha




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