Posted by DAisym on December 26, 2007, at 18:34:19
In reply to Re: I just had someone else's beautiful christmas » pegasus, posted by Dinah on December 26, 2007, at 16:13:42
Hi Peg,
I think sometimes those kinds of experiences highlight what is missing in our own families and we feel that longing that never really goes all the way away. We might be able to identify the dysfunction in our families and even understand where it comes from but it never quite takes away that wish that things were (or are) different. And it aches.
And I also think that, as much as our own families can make us crazy, not being where you "should" be during the Holidays can you make you feel kind of sad too. The inside jokes, the predictable melt down, even the bad gravy, these things tell us we belong. At least for myself, I find it odd that I feel lonely without my family and they make me crazy when I'm with them. I remember these conflicting feelings when we would be at my husband's family, instead of "home" for the Holidays. Home, to me, was my family.
I imagine it does get all mixed up - having a good time and the after-taste of sadness. It will pass, I'm sure. And I like what Dinah wrote, about thinking about what you want to do with your own daughter - what traditions could be just yours? I had to laugh when my 22 year old came home and was upset that there wasn't an advent calendar for him. I said, "but you don't live here anymore..." and he pouted. Next year, I'll mail him one!
Take good care - Happy New Year.
poster:DAisym
thread:802689
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802779.html