Posted by rskontos on December 22, 2007, at 12:39:19
In reply to Re: P-doc Update--good one!!!!!Long sorry, posted by I need a hug on December 22, 2007, at 0:10:18
Thanks Hugs, I am 48 so we have age in common too! It makes me feel so cared for to know that you were so worried. I was there for so long. He told me so you have had many that tried to care for you. but you know I never really saw it that way. So he made connections already I hadnt seen. And the payment thing. he told me how much his sessions are but he said I don't like to be written a check each time. He said to me that implies I don't trust you so he says you can write me a check every other or I will just bill you at the end of the month and give you a statement for your insurance and you can pay me then or when they pay you however it works best for you because I trust you. And you must trust me for this to work. I was astonished although hide it. I told him stuff already I haven't told anyone not even the other t but I felt he got me. I really got me. The other T I told stuff cause I need to tell someone and she was a professional my friend recommended her so I opened up to her. But I didn't connect to her the person I opened to her the professional. Thank you for caring about me and being afraid for me. But it was one of those things when I looked into his face it was ok. YOu know. I am not always the best judge of character sometimes I trust the wrong one but I think he is ok. And the way he said I was protecting my image of who I wanted my mother to be that was so important to me and the other t didn't get that. I knew my mother had a huge hold of me I didn't know why. He did. I think I know why no meds yet because they will slow down the switching and he may want to see what we are doing with first and the need to get deeper too. JMHO. THe best is that my voices are quieter today. Finally. I think they realize this might be someone that can help. Thurs. I was a mess. All over the place. Yesterday I was a mess until I got there. It was an ordeal getting there because I thought I knew where I was going and everyone had input in the driving to his office and we were 40 minutes late and I thought he wouldn't see me he called me on the way there, told me its ok, gave me more directions, said no you are still ok, I will be here. I calmed down and finally got my ducks in a row and we got there. Everyone finally shut up. Now I have some peace too, mostly everyone is quiet. My kids and I had a nice dinner later and a movie.
I am beginning to understand how you would fly to see a p-doc. You know before with the other t, I kept thinking I don't care if I saw her one way or the other. But now I have a glimmer of what everyone means. Because when you connected you have a reason to care. Like with you guys. I care bout you guys and would try to do whatever. Like when sunnydays and maxie posted they were sad and stuff my littleone got so upset for them. I tried to use words to help them and others here that are in a bad way, but my peeps they have the emotions and that is what comes out for them. So when you guys hurt I will use my words to comfort you but my peeps dont got words always so they cry for you and sometimes that will spill out here if I let them. Which in the past I closed the window and did it in private but lately I thought no let them get it out and maybe it will help me and them and Babblers somehow. I don't know. This stuff is hard, weird, and confusing and seems crazy. I will ask him because I know from my reading that for DID and others that group therapy is helpful and this is my group therapy. That is how I see it.
I am glad you trust your t and I am glad you have a wonderful relationship with yours. I hope that is the road I am on too. I think it is . Now I have to figure out what to do with the other one and how to end it. I am not so good with that. I usually just bail. Well like Scarlett in Gone With the the Wind I will just think about that another day.
I do remember your long story bout your t. dont want to remind you of the bad time though.
Again thanks hugs, your the best.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:801972
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802058.html