Posted by rskontos on December 21, 2007, at 7:50:39
In reply to Re: Its SO weird..... » littleone, posted by muffled on December 21, 2007, at 2:44:00
Muffled, I am in denial about my parts all last night I said I dont have peeps I am bi-polar or borderline or something else I don't know I just messed up and I lost huge amounts of time.
I woke up with strange people( you know doing what I don't want to say) that i didn't know. When I was a teenager I would go to school and I guess act normal take test, answer questions, drive home and never remember a thing. The last thing I remembered is being in my pj and "wake up" in school clothes. I have lost weeks at a time. I have spent money and bought things I don't remember doing. I have been in one place just to "wake up" in another place and dont remember how the heck I got there. But NO ONE noticed but me.
I still dont think I have peeps. yet at times now my body feels like someone else's. My t asks me last time how I feel I say I don't know which is real me. She says all of them are you. WTF does that mean. Does that make sense? I guess it does.
It would be so easy to say that I am acting up and making this up. Wouldnt it. But how can I be doing that How can I make myself lose time. And how can you, Muffled, make parts, you can't and just cause you don't remember what happened to make you split does mean something didn't because it sounds like you have them too.
I know how weird it is. Last night I invited them(any of my peeps and littleone came. I felt her . It was wierd and I could not then push her out. She had no words just sadness that resulted in crying ALOT. I let littleone cry and cry and cry and she left. and now the chattering has stopped for now.
I truly understand wanting to be anything other than this. I too wish it. But we must face it and deal with it. Because we are strong that is why we are this. And we can do it. We must.
We will move forward. Forward is the only way to go.Right?
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:801864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/801902.html