Posted by B2chica on October 31, 2007, at 7:56:17
In reply to struggling w T caring, posted by Dory on October 30, 2007, at 22:36:19
Dory, i'm not sure how long you've been in therapy. but from my experience, this was an Extreme issue for me in the beginning. i wanted my first therapist to just sit me down and say...ok B2, this is how therapy works. and walk me through the whole process explaining what i needed to say and explain his responses.....
this never happened. infact he was the least structured one i've ever had. this was SOOO NOT what i needed. (but for other reasons as well).
it may help if you go to him and tell him that you are feeling unsettled about the whole concept of therapy.i guess i do have a little different view (maybe more cynical) but i REALLY liked my last T...but i New before i started that he would be leaving. that it would end. it was hard but it also fit into my life's pattern. though typically i am betrayed by someone and then they are out of my life. this time it was a healthy departure...it was so terribly hard...but it felt right.
and sometimes, we even outgrow our therapists. and i think if i had stayed with old T too much longer that would have happened. i think i NEEDED to find this one, her approach is so different, but SO what i need. she found things that old T didn't. (my inner's).anyway. long story short. you have quite a ways in therapy. he's not going anywhere. even when a few years down the line and you feel you are done with thearpy...my T told me, she's still there for "as needed visits". So don't even think about the termination process yet. because although it maybe be tough...you will know when you are ready. and it will all be ok.
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and wow...what you said in your last paragraph...reminds me SOOOO much of my last T. he WAS the person to just listen, to care, to laugh, to distract when i needed. he totally understood that 'dark' part of me and didnt try to change it. and he tried not to comment about how 'terrible' the abuse was but there was one time i'll never forget that he did. and his words....they were just what i needed.
if someone says it over and over, i tend not to believe him, so for him to say it...strongly....and only once in almost a different context. is when it hit home. those words have meant more to me than anything.Dory all this crap is Terribly confusing. it's disheartening, its maddening, its crazy-making, and its sad. but we NEED to explore these emotions about it, not just the abuse itself.
your T sounds good. but its what's in your gut that matters.
listen to that.and just to reiterate...your T is right. it wasn't 'nothing'.
poster:B2chica
thread:792314
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071022/msgs/792482.html