Posted by happyflower on October 16, 2007, at 17:52:34
In reply to My roughest session, kinda freaked out right now, posted by happyflower on October 16, 2007, at 16:18:02
He talked to me and said it sounded like I am going through PTSD symtoms and I thought I was cured of that. He said there are other things he wants to try with me that will make it seem safer for me. He was sort of surprised of my severe reactions to all of this morning,as I am surprised myself. He said he could see my fear and feel my fear. He said I have a lot of deep buried stuff. He wants to take this much more slower and gentler and to do things he learned to do in extreme cases, which I guess I am one of those. sigh...
I guess I seem too normal, my normal mask, but for the most part I act normal and feel normal. until that is these horrible memories come to surface then I am terrified like that little girl again. What happened to me is very horrible, unimaginable to most, I haven't said on here the worst of the stuff and I don't plan on it ever telling. Maybe I can tell T, I don't know. I know my new T cares about me, but I kinda wish i had my old T to lean on right now, I know him better. But yet I don't feel like I could cry in front of him, so my old T feels better in that aspect.
I am scared to go to sleep tonight. He wants me to take some xanax and try to sleep tonight. But I feel frightened to shut my eyes. I don't want those nightmares. My world feels very unsafe and all I want to do is hide away.
poster:happyflower
thread:789611
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071009/msgs/789625.html