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Re: Pushing and Pulling again

Posted by fallsfall on October 15, 2007, at 20:28:47

In reply to Re: Pushing and Pulling again » fallsfall, posted by Daisym on October 15, 2007, at 15:10:04

> How come being aware doesn't help me not do it? :(
>
It will - eventually. It is a process - you can only do one step at a time.

> Isn't it interesting that I can absolutely "know" one thing and still feel a completely different thing?! Makes me wonder if I need more CBT techniques.
>
I think that we need to go a step beyond "knowing". I think there is a deeper way of knowing that lets us feel it, too. I'm not sure how to get there, but I think it has something to do with living with it and getting used to it.

> I think my abandonment issues are very, very deep. And as much as I think they are under control, when they flare up, it is like a volcano. And then there is such a need for containment - that physical need to be held so I don't blow apart. And I can't get that need met in therapy so what then? Ug - it all feels so futile sometimes. I lose track of what I'm even working toward with all this therapy. Just staying alive doesn't seem like enough.
>

Well, staying alive is a good start. I think that the feeling that you will blow apart (for me it was oozing) dissipates over time as you get better. At least for me, it wasn't that the ooze was contained, it was that the holes stopped existing.

> And this is progress? I feel like I'm playing Shoots and Ladders and i just slid down backwards.

Yes, but the game isn't over. You can get to the end.

(((Daisy)))

Love,
Falls

 

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poster:fallsfall thread:788749
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071009/msgs/789484.html