Posted by muffled on October 1, 2007, at 13:18:35
In reply to Re: To everyone » Daisym, posted by Cecilia on September 30, 2007, at 22:26:58
> I guess I haven't done the work, I don't even know what that means, just sounds like the CBT dogma that it's your own fault you're depressed because you're thinking negative thoughts etc.
**I have bad thot patterns and have changed them alot. And it has helped. Its not so easy to do, but it helped me. The neg thots I had were not necc *my* fault, but were as a result partially cuz of my nature and how O perceived the world and reacted to it, but also due to how I was raised. I don't remember much either, but I press on. Not to remember, but to better cope. So while I may have royally screwed up my potential in life, I *do* tend to self-blame, but my CBT T doesn't blame me. I don't blame others. Its just the way I turned out for whatever reasons. And I goto try and do my best. I am fortunate in that I am not in deep depression any more. If you have biological depression stuff, then mebbe try diff meds? Or menne you have? I went thru I think 3-4 B4 I found one that was OK for me.
I certainly tried my best to do therapy right but I couldn't. All that 7 years of therapy did was make me even more depressed. (I assume it didn't take her 7 years to figure out I was unhelpable, but she probably needed the money and knew I was so lonely I would do anything to keep my paid "friend"). Antidepressants don't help me, I failed therapy, I've been in constant emotional pain as far back as I can remember; I now have health problems that cause constant physical pain as well; I don't want memories, would just like to know why I was ever born.**Cecilia, the reason I replied to this post was that my heart hurt for you.
I too have asked that question, why was I ever born.
And I dunno how many T's you have been thru, but there's one thing I have sure found out thru Babble, is THEY ALL DIFFERENT. And finding a T that 'fits' is HUGE. And sometimes its a severely painful process to try and find the right T, esp when we already down. But when you DO find the right T, its SO worth it.
I do mostly ok now. I still fall down lots, but not nearly as much as I did B4.
Ya, I don't want memeories either, and thats another Babblething I have noticed. If there's memories to be had, they'll come when ready and not B4, and hopefully for me, maybe never.
So I hope you can keep posting, ask questions, there's alot of experience here on babble, and maybe find the right path to wellness for yourself.
You deserve to be well just as much as I do.
I do truly wish the best for you.
Life is hard.
But there's good stuff too.
Take good care,
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:784620
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/786261.html