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coming apart - trigger

Posted by DAisym on September 14, 2007, at 1:36:13

Who is screaming? It is so loud - can't you hear it? I've look all around but I can't find her -- she sounds so terrified. People rush by, no one stops and listens - can't they hear it? I look and look and finally realize that the screaming is me. It is stuck in my head and in my throat and it gets louder and louder inside because it can't escape and expand outside. Can't you hear it? Or are you refusing to listen?

Are there words for this scream? I hear them. There is pleading -- "please don't, not again." There is panic, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe." And there is anger, "get off, Get Off, GET OFF!" And there is only silence.

Pain is buried in this scream. It rips through my brain the way he rips through my body, my throat filled with it, the way he fills my body. There is madness in this scream, a need to let go and let it all out. Can the scream force him out? Can the scream be understood?

My soul is wailing. The anguish of knowing...of feeling so trapped...there is no escape. I continue to silently scream but no one comes. No - they can't hear it. I am alone. I am the silent scream.

Or is the scream me?

 

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poster:DAisym thread:782803
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/782803.html