Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

I left my little girl...(maybe trigger? not sure)

Posted by sunnydays on August 27, 2007, at 21:50:45

I left my little girl in my T's office. I just wish she'd stay there. But I had drawn a picture of myself when I was sad, and it also had me when I was little in the picture. And it was a rough session, he started out by telling me he had to leave five minutes early even though we were starting a little late. And I just got so sad and feeling like I wasn't important. And I think he kind of knew that was what I was reacting to, because after he said that I was just silent for a really long time.

After much cajoling and asking questions on his part, I finally told him that was how I felt. He said he understood that I would feel that way and he asked if I really believed I wasn't important to him. I said no, and he said that it was probably an old part of me talking then. But that he understood why it would bring back that feeling and that it had nothing to do with me, it was just how circumstances worked out.

And so it was hard to talk, I told him about a memory. And I was really really sad, feeling very young, and I think he could tell that. At one point he changed the subject and was asking me about work and stuff to try to bring me back into a more adult self. But then he said something about how it seemed I did better if I could stay in the adult place and not the little girl place, and I started crying instantly. He asked what I was reacting to. I said I didn't know (classic I don't want to answer you answer). He guessed though that I felt like I was in trouble because of what he had said or that I was bad or did something wrong. And he said something that was really good, it really struck me, "It sounds like the little girl was still there really strongly and felt like she was being sent away and was being rejected. I think we need to work on getting the little girl to feel more welcome, but the whole little girl, not just the sad part."

Then he asked me if I could bring in a happier part of the little girl even if that wasn't where I was then. And I could only think of times when I had gotten in trouble. So he asked me this really random question, "Did you ever go sledding?" And I said yes, and he said, "That would be a fun memory, right?" and we talked about that for a while.

And I got sad again because I didn't want to leave. And he asked if I could leave a piece of myself in the room. He asked if I could leave the picture I had drawn, the sad part of me, if I wanted to leave it on the couch. And I said I would if it could stay there. And he said it could, we'd just have to put it under the blanket that he uses to cover his couch with (his couch is this ugly blue one and he has this really interesting cloth that he has over it).

He asked if it would feel like we were hiding her, and if I could think of it like putting a blanket over her, like it was a cold night and we were keeping her warm and safe and protected. And he let me put the drawing exactly where I wanted it on the couch and cover her up.

And surprisingly it is helping. I can really sort of feel like the sad part of me doesn't have to make me quite so sad, I can be comforted a little because the sad part of me got to stay in a safe place.

Anyway, I know this post is really long. It's a little weird for me to think about this little girl as an actual part of me, but it really does help sometimes.





Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:sunnydays thread:779217