Posted by OzLand on July 19, 2007, at 20:53:46
In reply to Re: The too good T is too smart too; darn (trigger » OzLand, posted by antigua3 on July 19, 2007, at 20:38:07
Oh my gosh no, you didn't offend me. As for being brave; well I don't see myself that way at all. I have not been in therapy with this doctor for very long, but I was a patient at Menninger's in the early 80's for 2 and 1/2 years plus outpatient treatment for around four years after before I went back to school. Then, I was back in therapy with the same therapist there when I was doing my internship and postdoc training. I had already done a lot of work at Menninger's but did not want to delve deeply into the csa stuff as I was doing better and thought "lets just leave well enough alone." My therapist would say something every once in awhile, and I would say I was fine. I wasn't so dissociative anymore that I did not know what I was doing for long stretches of time, and so I thought I could be okay without going through some damn gut renching expeerience.
Two years ago I crashed and Pandora's box flew open, and well here I am now with a very good therapist after two years with someone who did not know what to do with me and sent me to do ECT that like a dummy I went and did (I stopped it short of what they wanted, thank goodness).
So, brave--I am scared to death. We have only had one session where I said to myself to bite the bullet and just do it and started talking about the first person and first time. Yes, there were four or five different abusers and then other sexual stuff from the time I was 17 to around 25. After the first time, I thought I don't know if I can do this, but he helped me to put myself together before I left the session. I know that the next time we meet, that is where I need to go, back to the sevena and eight year-old little girl. The worst will be going back to the 10-11 year old girl. I am really scared of that.
Nope you did not offend me in the slightest.
poster:OzLand
thread:770435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/770630.html