Posted by OzLand on July 18, 2007, at 19:47:12
When I went to therapy today, we talked about my work situation that had side tracked us from continuing to work on abuse issues. The work issues appears to be resolved without anyone even saying anything to me, but I was warned that would likely be the case.
Anyway, my therapist starts talking about long rang planning for even when I retire some day and how that will help me have a better sense of my worth and value. I guess I got the funny look on my face of kind of annoyance as he asked what just happened here, and so I told him it felt like he was trying to tell me how to run my life in the future. He didn't say anymore about it until toward the end of the session after we spent some time on my husband too. Then zap.
My therapist says to me that I have trouble with authority, and I said I do sometimes. So, he started to liken the whole thing to the sexual abuse when I was younger, but I did not get the connection until he said that with him and what he said about widdening my thinking about work, etc was for me as if he had "inserted" himself in me, and that is why it like the abuse. How dense am I that I did not make the connection, but then I started to think about it and where we had left off and what I had last said about leaving the little girl behind for so long, etc. So he says he thinks we need to revist her, etc.
Well I was making faces which is my way of expressing what I think of what he is saying, and he said, "God; you've got great faces." And he was laughing, and I said "you make great faces too," and he said, "I know." He does. And then he said, "I love the faces you make. So how does that fit with "I welcome working with you." I forgot to ask him about that.
Well after I left and went to use the restroom, I started to get a horrible lump in my throat and just wanted to vomit like I used to sometimes. I was thinking about what he said with "inserting" himself. Now I am not so sure I can handle this. I guess I can; I just need to tell him what effect that had on me. I don't want to develop an eating disordr again even though I am now overweight and just hate it.
poster:OzLand
thread:770435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/770435.html