Posted by scratchpad on June 29, 2007, at 8:43:40
In reply to Major Problems ***tough CSA trigger*** (long), posted by fiji on June 28, 2007, at 9:17:22
Such a major post, Fiji. I am proud of your strength and resilience (((((Fiji)))).
My experience with abuse was not family related and it happened later in my childhood, yet it made such a irrefutable mark upon my own sexuality and feelings of fear and anger.How do we get past what we recognize to be the core and at the root of our problems? Once we face our history, how are we to put it in its rightful place and define ourselves in a present tense? What on earth am I trying to say(??!!) OK. What we recognize as our trigger and response reflex (for want of a better word) can be retrained, just as our alcoholic habits can be retrained. You and I no longer respond to our old alcoholic triggers in the same way we did when we were actively drinking - and it's the hardest thing in the world to change how we respond emotionally to an environmental trigger. That change took a lot of support and therapy; we couldn't just will ourselves to become sober.
Perhaps the next step here is some formal sex therapy, suitable for PTSD victims? Maybe with sensitive and professional guidance, your emotional responses can eventually be moved beyond the fear-shame-guilt model to where they belong, to loving-kindness and giving. So you can experience sexual satisfaction on the basis of emotional wholeness and completion. Do you think you could talk to your T about something like this, or ask for a referral to see someone about it? (Or read a book? That'd be my first move, as timid as I am.)
Scratchpad
poster:scratchpad
thread:766397
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/766656.html