Posted by twinleaf on June 19, 2007, at 7:51:17
In reply to My current T messed up today, posted by crushedout on June 18, 2007, at 16:18:19
She did make a mistake, and it's clear, and natural, that you would feel hurt and abandonned. Still, she did recognize right away that it was a mistake, and she took responsibility for it. Also. her subsequent comments all seem pointed towards continuing the relationship in a good and positive manner, and working out whatever feelings arise in both you and her- with her hopefully handliing her own better in the future! I think a lot of therapy is about things like this- with "rupture and repair" occurring all the time. It's when repair doesn't occur, because of therapist counter-transferences, that therapy fails.
Not to highjack your thread, but I feel certain that unexamined counter-tranference accounted for the extremely painful collapse of my own previous therapy. The new therapist has already shown that he is very interested in all of my reactions to him; he will often say things like, "I'm glad you told me how you felt when I said that. I didn't have that thought (that he, too might want to get rid of me- or many other anxious thoughts). but now that I know, we can talk about it more freely. All of this helps a lot.
Your present T sounds like she is capable of doing that; she didn't sound defensive- just apologetic. It might have been better, ideally, for her to have been less apologetic, after acknowledging her error, and to have spent more time trying to really hear you. But, if she didn't make it this time, quite, it sounds like she will in the future. Overal, she's been great that way, hasn't she?
poster:twinleaf
thread:763573
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/764133.html