Posted by dispatcher on June 19, 2007, at 12:18:15
In reply to I'm angry, posted by crushedout on June 16, 2007, at 11:30:57
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> Yes, I'm very, very angry at my ex-T. Yes, it feels good in a way. But I can tell that it's building. Wow, it took me over five years to get angry at her, but now that I am, watch out! I am one of the most vindictive, mean people I have ever known. Or tenacious? There are positive spins I could put on this, too. It really doesn't feel that bad. I mean, I feel pretty comfortable with anger, so, there's a big part of me that just....I don't think "enjoy" is exactly the right word, but I was going to say "enjoys this."
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> All I can say is, she better freakin' watch out. I mean, if she blogs about our exchange, she is going to be really sorry. I will file a complaint with the licensing board so fast that her head will spin. I'm afraid there may be a lot of other things she could blog about that might goad me into some sort of action also. For example, I could see her blogging about something that gets under my skin, I'll comment on it (nonanonymously now, of course), and then she might respond or not publish my comment, or who knows what she might do to tick me off? Right now I have a hair-trigger temper when it comes to her.
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> I'm not posting for feedback, although I welcome any. I'm just expressing myself. I feel okay about all of this. I am slightly afraid of what I'm capable of doing, but I don't think I'll do anything *truly* stupid. I do, after all, have a fairly effective superego. Or fear of going to jail. Or whatever you call that.I think your current T was just being honest. Everyone wants honesty in therapy. Sometimes the honest is not always the positive.
I think the way she feels ("am I next") is understandable too. Just like your anger. Feelings aren't right or wrong - they just are.
Are you really the most mean and vindictive person you know though? Are you happy with that statement about yourself?
I find that feelings and actions in general ALWAYS have a boomerang effect - they'll come back to you, good or bad, in the end.
poster:dispatcher
thread:763573
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/764179.html