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Re: QuieT the new T sunnydays

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on June 18, 2007, at 16:07:43

In reply to Re: QuieT the new T LlurpsieNoodle, posted by sunnydays on June 18, 2007, at 14:15:15

> Do you feel you will be able to get emotional with your new T Llurpsie? You seem to have focused a lot on more intellectual qualities in your description. Do you feel safe there? My T is not very intellectual at all, which I would think should annoy me because I really am, but it's better. Therapy is my emotional place and the place to take care of the emotional side of me, as my T constantly reminds me. He says that a lot of times staying in my head and thinking about things all the time is what keeps me feeling lousy.
> I'm just hoping your T can reach both sides of you. It's really important that you can access your emotions in T. It sounds like you are sticking to a lot of intellectualizing in your description, which can be really important as a way to not get overwhelmed by emotion, so you don't need to stop that. I'm just wondering if your emotional needs will get met there.
> sunnydays

Hi Sunny- that's a good observation. I've known for a long time that the intellectual is my most important coping/defense mechanism. It's in my blood. Interesting that my husband is not very intellectual huh? Yet H is there for me emotionally. I must seem like a strange bird to him. :)

My first T told me near the end of my stay with him that "for you, it was always in your head, up here...and I interpreted that as semi-criticism, semi-observation, mostly truth.

It will be important that my quieT doesn't get TOO emotionally worked up, like my first T, who seemed kind of agitated, impatient.

It will be important that I learn to let another person into my feeling-zone, and allow another person (man) to show me something different than what I am accustomed too. I guess it's going to be important for me to talk about T-me relationship. First I have to feel safe and he has to earn my trust and my respect. One channel for that would be through appealing to my intellect, another channel would be through his reactions to my feelings, which I'm protective of.

My currentT's observation of my quieT is that he had a very soothing, calming manner on the phone, even when discussing the business of referrals and such. I trust her judgement more than my own on these matters. She has more experience than I do, with judging how emotionally present a person can be.

thanks for your ideas. I'm embarrassed to say that I hoped that (once again) my emotional needs would be met by appealing to my nerdiness.





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