Posted by sunnydays on June 9, 2007, at 11:08:55
In reply to Re: hard to leave..., posted by Honore on June 9, 2007, at 0:02:35
> I used to feel that way, too-- but I never found any way of getting past the feeling, so I just had to put up with it. My T used to tell me when it was near the end of the appointment-- I guess because if we stopped too abruptly, it made it harder.
**** Yeah, definitely. It's so so so hard when he forgets to give some sort of warning and it's just "Bang - session's over." (although obviously he doesn't say that). He usually says a little bit before either, "Is it ok if we shift gears now?" and then we talk about my plans for the weekend or some other lighter thing if it's one of the days when I can leave fine - otherwise I start crying and I have to force myself to leave. Or he'll say "We only have a couple minutes left." Not sure which I prefer.
>
> I guess emailing helped some-- I used to send him emails especially on weekends. Otherwise, listening to his voice on his answering machine, or a recording I found of him giving a lecture helped-- sometimes at night.
>**** Yeah, emailing definitely helps. I called and left a message just to say I miss him last night. I do the listening to his voice on the answering machine thing too.
> It might take time, but eventually it'll get easier; it has for me. Although a lot of that is having anti-depressants-- after taking them for a while, it was better, and now even without them, I don't feel the same horrible feeling at the end.
**** They definitely didn't help me with that! I think for me it has just been getting to trust that my T is still there that has helped.
>
> Knowing that he's there, and believing in the depth of the relationship, even if it's limited in time and space, makes a difference-- because it's not leaving in the same way, if someone stays with you emotionally.**** Yeah, we have talked about that and how he's still there and we're still connected even if we're not in the same room. That works sometimes to calm me a little, but sometimes I think how can we possibly be connected if he's probably not even thinking about me and just going about his day?
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:761923
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/761987.html