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Re: afraid T will go away (long) » twinleaf

Posted by sunnydays on May 27, 2007, at 12:16:53

In reply to Re: afraid T will go away (long) » sunnydays, posted by twinleaf on May 27, 2007, at 10:52:07

> Two things jump out at me from reading your post- especially after having read you other ones, above, and understanding what a great relationship you have with him in your real-time therapy. The first is that it's a repetition of your childhood fears of abandonment, which you've said were very painful and real in the family you grew up in.

**** Yeah. In my post above to Witti I talked about how he's been getting me to see that. It really is a repetition of that.

The second is: he's a uni T, I think, and so, is it true that you can't see him on a regular basis after a year or so?

**** No. I get ten free sessions through the university, and then I pay $50 a session, which isn't bad in the grand scheme of things. I actually see him twice a week now, and the only interruptions are when he's sick or on vacation. My parents actually pay for my therapy, which I'm lucky about. And I avoid telling them what I talk about there - I think they think he's helping me with anxiety, which I guess is partly true.

Is he anywhere near retirement? (probably not, if he still wears shorts!)

**** No, I don't think so. His oldest kid is in fourth grade, and he has one younger than that I know, so he has a while until they're in college. I would guess he's in his mid-fifties because he is a little old to have kids that young. But I bet he is a great parent. And I don't think he's near retiring, at least not for ten years at least.

I know he said you could call him, but it's not the same as having regular times to see him in person. Can you, maybe, go on to grad school where you are, and keep the therapy relationship going that way?

**** I'm hoping to get into the grad school at this university, or one in this area. I do like this area. I'm trying not to tie my life too closely to my therapy, but we'll see. I would like to stay near here if I can. Plus, it's the perfect distance from my parents - close enough to drive if I have to, but far enough so there's no way they will come and visit regularly - they need at least three days free to come visit me, and prefer to have more so the driving isn't too close together.

>
> It's so wonderful to find a great therapist, and it sounds like you are in the middle of doing a lot of really good work with him. Termination, even a year from now, sounds like it's too soon.
>

*** Yeah. It wouldn't be termination. We could still talk on the phone at least and I bet he would be willing to make a regular appointment for phone sessions. I hope to stay in the area too. But that's not where this fear is coming from. It's a fear that the very next session he will suddenly not be there, or he'll forget about me and go somewhere or something like that. I don't think this fear of him going away is really tied to him leaving a while from now.

> The only solution I have ever found to any of these problems is just to talk about them, fully, and over and over, with your therapist. Since you've got a terrific one, I feel confident that that will help.

***** Yeah, I just have to screw up my courage and do it. It's so hard to talk about these things, but he always understands and helps me. Thanks for taking the time to respond. I've been a little too freaked out by your story to respond, but I'm really sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you're starting to build a healthier relationship with a new T.

sunnydays


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poster:sunnydays thread:759767
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/759791.html